An Ode to Convatec

Sadly, I had no hand in writing this. But it is beautiful nevertheless. A brief message from the author:

Well, here it is. The epic poem, which I could have gone on for stanzas and stanzas more, but decided for your sake to cut short. It’s for us, the co–ops of fall 96. Written solely on time where I should have been doing work. I thought it only appropriate. Enjoy.

My Friends

ConvaTec, ConvaTec, I think I shall
Never find a more fiendish pal.
You pay me well to sit and stare
Oft at naught but thin air
My friends have died and I have too
All of this, because of you.

Erin Blair, with golden hair
Disillusion was your fare
Mark and Bruce and yes Dave, too
All had fallen just for you
Happy and gay and without complaint
You were the picture of a saint
But then the drought and the despair
“I looked for work, and found none there.”
If that day had not arrived
Would Erin still be alive?

Jason Carter
the grand old martyr
In the crypt he made his home
Trapped by fate, like a gnome
His head he’d said was stolen away
Inside a box, they let it stay
They let him out, he thought they might
Into the hot room, for one full night
At a screen would he stare
I’m afraid, we lost him there.

Julie Chu we knew you well
Banana lover, friend and pal.
Tack text! tack text! I heard her say
No more tack tests! she would pray
A house of tack tests did she build
With dead flies was it filled.
Water uptake made her boil
The warden made her a good foil
Still I think and still I wonder
What could pull her asunder.

Eugene Chung, no one knew
What to think or make of you
Bored as hell and loud as thunder
Solace in books was his wonder
On and on he’d read and read
Korean, Math, or some new creed
Complacency he finally took
I tried and tried but couldn’t look

David Wasserman, tall as heaven,
at least to us, not five foot seven
In PPA did he sit
In PPA he did his s––t
Clean, Extrude, Snap on and off
Manual labor was in his trough
A bunny suit, a flange, an air tester, too
It’s so sad, he died so soon

So I sit and wait to die
I fear my time has near drawn nigh
No more freight train, no more fear
No more ConvaFood out my rear.
Away, away to a better place,
Not let my mind go to waste
Atrophy, atrophy was their cry
We’ll escape, come with me fly

ConvaTec, ConvaTec, I think I shall
Never find a more fiendish pal.
The mind you took, away from us
Shall return to lowly dust
Raise the standard, hoist the flag
But my oh my, there’s just one snag
Summer comes and we’re here again
So I guess there’s just one end.

Hear me future co–ops, heed my words,
Rita and Alan, they know the lords
Guard your heart, and guard your mind
Then happiness you might find

As for you my friends with me,
We’ll make it through, you and me.
We’ll make it I say,
We’ll make it, they’ll see…

3 Replies to “An Ode to Convatec”

  1. Isn’t that a gem? I also have some e-mail chains from that era; does “Tickle Me Trickle” ring a bell? I may have to post those next, followed by the bylaws of the Hearts Players Union.

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